Hall of Shame

Dickhead of the Year - The Hall of Shame

Year: 2007
Name: Sam Kidd
Geographic Origin: Tauranga

Citation: Timaru "Fight Club"
Ø For the Saturday night "fight club" with the Timaru slapper.
Ø For the fingers dance in Anchor and Sail
Ø For getting his girlfriend to do the dirty work and getting her consequently beaten up…
Ø For getting kicked out of the pub for "frothing at the mouth"…..
Ø For the "honeymoon suite" at Road Relays
Ø For the poo-walk?!!??!!
Ø For that outrageously big ice cream
- For telling Thomas to "keep driving"…all the way to Palmerston. Waikouaiti is only 20km away Sam…

Honourable mentions

- Dave Bresnahan

· For his American accent: "Bat-OOOOON" "niche".
· For thinking Wales isn't a country???!!!
· For blatantly watching his calories e.g. subway, beer and hundreds & thousands biscuits

Chris "SPOON-DOG" Hueston

· For living off $20 a week…
· For the boat race…or lack of the boat race…
· For claiming Spoon-Dog can't score…..

- Emma Waller and Melissa Reid

o For Timaru hook-ups club
o Emma: "did you know you were on speaker?"
o Mel: Consistency…No hand kissing this year????

- Dr Chris Danielson

o For buying Spandex…Bad Call!
o For thinking Benje and Thomas were "you know…GAY"
o For buying a bottle of rum for the BBQ, drinking it all and comaing on Erin's couch and then being outsprinted by Benje!!
o For the Brownie and Anzac biscuits made with artificial sweetener!
o We could go on and on and on….

Honourable mentions

- Benje Patterson
· For dangerously driving in Feilding, during National Road Relays and almost hitting a Wellington Scottish runner who was in the lead.
· For casually winning the two-day coast to coast.

- Erin Whitla
· For being the hot favourite for the Otago Road champs junior race, only to decide to flag it and run a relay in Christchurch for North Canterbury.
· For getting up at 5.30am on Wednesday mornings to get a hour run up Signal hill before Core.

- Alice Baker
· For almost killing a drunk student. On the way back from the post-Lovelocks Potluck dinner, Alice driving the mighty pink-machine took the game of chicken too far and hit a student crossing the road. Luckily the student was ok.

Year: 2005
Name: Nick Flyger
Geographic Origin: Nelson

Citation: Leaving, losing, lost...
o For using a potato sack as a bag at Timaru Round the Gorge Relay & then leaving it in the van going back to Dunedin.
o For falling out with his team mate (Steve McKinstry) at the Rogaine and going to bed.
o For getting his Rogaine Team lost in the Silverpeaks while trying to teach them orienteering. They managed to walk their way out just as a rescue team was being assembled!!
o For hooking up with a student. Naughty!

Honourable mentions

- Bridget Keegan
o For hooking up with the club coach.
o For not being ready when her runner came through at Peninsula Relay.

- Alice Barach
o For eating pizza for breakfast before National Rd Relays & then complaining of the stitch.

- Emma Peterson
o At Takahe to Akaroa - for taking so long to get ready for the team dinner, holding up the girls team and making the guys teams nearly die of hunger / intoxication while waiting at the restaurant.

- Benje Patterson
o For commencing drinking immediately after his leg (leg 1) of National Rd Relays and moving onto shot-gunning cans of beer through his horn by lunch time…

- Audrey Gelhausen
o For the fabulous multicoloured tights worn at Timaru Round the Gorge Relay.

- Jeremy Senior
o For racing to be first across Clyde Dam in the Clyde to Alex race but only managing to do it by 5m from the guys who were racing the full 10k!!!

Year: 2004
Name: Michael Anderson
Geographic Origin: Canterbury

Citation: Outstanding achievement in the field of stuff ups...
o For spray-painting fluorescent pink arrows on the pavement for the Fun Run after Katherine told him not to.
· Planning to skip Lovelock Relays as club captain from three months out so as to go away for the weekend with Recreation Services.
o $300 dent / scratch in rental van for Timaru Gorges before even getting it out of the Handy Rentals yard...
o Getting up (in retro 3 stripes) to receive a prize at Timaru Gorges only to be sent back empty handed (no prize for second...)
o Receiving a $80 speed camera fine for driving one of the Otago team rental vans at 64kmph in a 50kmph zone on their way from Hastings to Napier following the NZ Cross Country Champs.
o At Otago Road Champs, Mike again took off for the weekend but this time, he didn't enter Andrew Davidson who proceeded to start the race and finish in third place in a huge PB time of 32:40. Andrew was disqualified for not being entered...

Honourable mentions

- Nic Browne: For having to beg a farmer for petrol for the van on the way home from Timaru Round the Gorge Relay.

- Alice Baker: Leaving the club cheque book in the library and not even realising it was lost until it was handed in.

- Mari Manger: Scared immigration might show so did not turn up for not turning up to collect her bronze medal in the National Half Marathon Champs.

- Emma Peterson: For forgetting to bring Alice's car down from Swampy Summit after running the first leg of the Three Peaks Race.

- Nick Flyger: DNF of the year / Mister miss it & Mister Injury
- Waipori - Knee
- Gold rush- day 2 mechanical - support crew a breakdown
- Weslydale - too drunk
- Otago XC - back, or was that knee???
- TWALK - dosed up on pain killers had to pull plug early
- Gorges - back
- CHCH 24 hr - knee after trying to run through a piece of wire
- Almost Nelson, dramatic turn around at the death to make this one

Year: 2003
Name: Dan Ussher
Geographic Origin: Canterbury

Citation:For impersonating Jake Milner

Dan only joined the club in the middle of the year, but in the space of three months managed to create more mayhem than most members achieve in a lifetime. Space considerations preclude a detailed accounting of these, but some of the highlights include:
- Running every club run like a race; running every race like a club run
- Turning up to club runs in street clothes
- Entering buildings through windows
- Chasing cars down state highways
In short, he's the closest thing we've had to Jake Milner since ... Jake Milner!

Honourable mentions

- Nic Browne: For insisting that 'forty' is spelt 'fourty'

- Charlotte Martin: For revealing that one night's debauched activities at her flat left her with "large penises all over my face". Indeed!

- Steve McKinstry: In a state of panic at a relay changeover, pulls down his shorts along with his track pants and subjects the timekeepers to the full blast of his arse.

- Susan 'Peaches' Shagger (Shauger): With a name like that, she must have done something wrong.

- Sean Turnbull: For attempting to sweat out glandular fever by increasing his already-strong alcohol consumption.

Year: 2002
Name: Kathryn Lester
Geographic Origin: Canterbury

Citation:For living up to her hair colour
Kathryn certainly made her presence felt in her first race for the club at the Timaru relay. Ran like a champ, did everything else like a chump. Space doesn't permit a full rendering of misdeeds here, only the 'highlight'. Made us stop the car early on in the long leg so she could make a phone call. After finishing the call, she gets back in but decides to leave the phone on the car roof. Doesn't discover this until we get to Cave. Back we go. Miraculously, there's the phone in the middle of the road, still with three dimensions. Unfortunately, no battery pack. Selector immediately finds one on the side of the road. Kathryn: "No, it doesn't fit." 20 minutes of fruitless searching later, cries of success from Kathryn. On closer inspection, turns out to be the previously found battery. Kathryn: "Oh yes, I just had to turn it the other way round."

Honourable mentions

- Alice Baker: Only discovers in Clyde she's brought 2 left shoes to Clyde-Alex - despite running to Clubs and Socs in them.

- Rob Brockett and Nic Browne: For cancelling Lovelocks because one corner of the track was "wet".

- Richard Lavin: For looking uncannily like Dallas Poultney.

Year: 2001
Name: Julia Bagrie
Geographic Origin: Southland

Citation: For dizziness
Southland women obviously do things differently. Most of us use our hands to switch off the alarm clock, but not Julia. One morning, she decides to headbutt it instead. Unfortunately, she misses, hits the end of the bed, and winds up with an eye that looks like a bullseye. Not content with that, she also provided us with the memorable line: "And what are you studying at Uni?" - to a 12yo Balmacewen Intermediate girl.

Honourable mentions

- Tania Cooper: Runs off the road towards a flock of sheep on 7th leg of Timaru relay.

- Mari Manger: On being given the "Go" command at the Barnes, decides to head straight for the finish line. Without running the intervening 3 laps.

Year: 2000
Name: Lewis Kaye
Geographic Origin: Mid Canterbury

Citation: For being Mr Cockup
Decides to run for Ashburton at Takahe-Akaroa even though we only have 6 runners. Then has the cheek to ask if he can get a ride with us to the race. Because we only have 6 runners, we field 2 who are ineligible. We sneak away quietly afterwards to avoid detection. When we're announced as winner of our grade, Lewis switches clubs again, picks the bloody trophy up, and brings it back to Dunedin. Consequently, we have to confess all and return the trophy.

Year: 1999
Name: Rob Brockett
Geographic Origin: South Canterbury

Citation: For services to gastronomy ("The Pieman cometh")
Eats 3 pies immediately prior to Clyde-Alex. Washes himself down with 2 more post-race. Ran like he at e.

Year: 1998
Name: Neil Sutherland
Geographic Origin: Otago

Citation: For senility
Tells club captain he'll bring vans to the Clubs and Services Building for transport to the Peninsula Relay in 20 mins. Promptly forgets and goes for a 60 minute run instead

Honourable mentions

Year: 1997
Name: Steve Smith
Geographic Origin: Otago

Citation: For disorganisation and dodgy dancing
Put in charge of organising Easter tourney duathlon, plus OU team captain. Informs all other teams that race begins at 10 am. Tells his team to be there at 9.30 for warmup. Finally turns up himself at 10.30. Also embarrassed club by being seen dancing with himself in Chch bar in a particularly provocative manner (if you've seen the episode of Red Dwarf where Lister uses the Artificial Reality machine to have sex with a 16yo Wimbledon ball girl, you'll know what I mean).

Year: 1996
Name: Mike Davey
Geographic Origin: Westland

Citation: For unfounded optimism
Got pissed after Peninsula relay and biked home from South Dunedin. When informed that he could get done for being drunk in charge of a pushbike, he responded "Oh that's ok. I'll just ride on the footpath with my lights off"!

Year: 1995
Name: Jake Milner
Geographic Origin: No Fixed Abode

Citation: For services to anthropology ("The Missing Link")
The citation says it all. His family's evolutionary tree obviously left off where everybody else's took up. No known depths of goofiness to which he would not stoop. Ran every club run 1/2 a K ahead of everyone else; ran every race 1/2 a K behind everyone else. Notorious for running reps through campus at 5pm.

Year: 1994
Name: Hunter "N..." Nottage
Geographic Origin: Wellington

Citation: For dyslexia
While discussing running injuries, Hunter contributed a little gem for which he gained a nickname starting with "N" that followed him throughout the year. An awkward confusion between hypochondria with another condition that has nothing to do with running injuries!

Honourable mentions

- Toni Bradshaw: "It doesn't smell like lemonade" - prior to drinking from a bottle of carpet cleaner.

- Miles Palmer: "What's a relay?"

- Jake Milner: Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

Year: 1993
Name: Kerryn Martin
Geographic Origin: Wellington

Citation: For "blonde" behaviour
Sister of above-mentioned Jenny. Also a babe. Also a blonde. Twice got lost on the second lap of a cross-country course.

Year: 1992
Name: Jon Linyard
Geographic Origin: South Canterbury

Citation: For doziness
Revealed a total inability to calculate his own age. First person in Otago athletics to reverse the usual aging progression - started the year in seniors and finished it in juniors.

Year: 1991
Name: Dallas Poultney
Geographic Origin: Southland

Citation: For services to celibacy
Turned down, on behalf of everybody else, the opportunity to go skinny-dipping with Jenny Martin (med student, good runner, Rhodes Scholar, and all-round club babe) after Kennett Cup. Received a good beating.